The Many Roads to Purpose
Isn’t is amazing how many “shoulds” we layer on ourselves? We should look like this, eat this and not that, live this kind of life, exercise in this way… the list goes on and on.
It’s exhausting, isn’t it? And we layer more “shoulds” onto our purpose than practically anything else. The Top 5 Myths of Purpose digs into a lot of this limiting self-talk.
These “shoulds” can leave us feeling stuck. Or lost. Or confused. Or tired.
At Discovering My Purpose, we are here to say, “Wait just a second.”
There are so many roads to purpose. And I will tell you the secret truth right up front. Each one is just as good as the next.
In this article we are going to talk about some of the big roads to purpose. But this list is not exhaustive. If you find yours another way, I would love to have you share it with us!
After you have a sense of where you might find your purpose, we are going to give you a litmus test to prove it out as well. More on that later.
Road #1: Watch for the Spark
Robert Holden is a psychologist and the founder of the Happiness Project. He has a quote that I love. He says, “The purpose of happiness is to help us be authentic. It helps show when we are being true to ourselves.” Holden goes on to say, “[Happiness] is a light on your personal dashboard saying you are on track.” Don’t confuse happiness with pleasure. We will talk more about the definition of happiness in a future blog, but the nutshell is that it’s an internal joy tied to something meaningful.
That flash of interest you experience when reading an article, listening to a teacher or watching a documentary? When you are doing something and feel really joyful? When this occurs, pay attention. It is your inner self guiding you towards your purpose.
One of the top myths of purpose is that for it to truly be your purpose, it should be an epiphany, powerful and clear. Oh, if only that were the case! Our lives would be a lot simpler, right?
Maybe we can think of those sparks of interest like our personal metal detector.
A blip here… "let’s head more in that direction."
Blip, blip. "Ok, let’s go that way."
Blip, blip, blip, blip! "Looks like we might have hit gold." (Picture the happiness light on your personal dashboard lighting up bright!)
Road #2: The Road of Hard Knocks
Another path to purpose is the hard road. The hard road is made up of the things in life that knock you down and beat you up. Illness, failure, loss, addiction…
Personal hardships are often the events we cannot seem to forget. They provoke the fiercest emotions in us. Depending on what we do with these emotions, they can either poison us or fuel us.
Nietzsche is famous for his quote, ““That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” He had that right… and he didn’t. We will talk more about the power of cognitive reframing and post-traumatic growth in a future blog.
Having your purpose be fueled by life challenges is powerful for a few reasons.
Let’s use bullying as an example. If you have been bullied, you know what it feels like. You know what the challenges are and you have felt the emotional impact. That gives you an insider’s perspective on how better to fix the problem or help those who have suffered it as well.
When you go to help someone who has been bullied, you have credibility. Your “I have been there” means that you are more likely to connect with others and make a difference. When shared with others who have had similar experiences, this can create tremendous bonds.
Lastly, your personal experience might really fuel you. Making a difference in the lives of people who have been bullied might feel empowering or be healing.
With that said, when considering using life challenges or your trauma as a source of purpose, your response might also be, “No, no, a thousand times no.”
You know what I say to that? You have got to do what feels right. 
Set down your “should” baggage and listen to your gut and your heart. Sure, maybe you have something that you could share but if it just feels too tender or personal, honor that.
Remember what we talked about earlier – there are many paths to purpose and each one is just as good as the next. If this is not the path for you, there are plenty of others!
Road #3: Be The Change
Just like life challenges, world challenges are another great source for finding purpose. Especially in today’s day and age, it seems the news constantly spews out negative energy. Whether it’s an issue regarding environmental, political, economic or social matters, tension seems high all throughout the nation.
No matter what your personal views are, a passionate response to current events may indicate where your purpose lies. If listening to the evening news makes you want to enact change, turn the headline into the first step in determining your purpose.
Take hunger for example. Say you’re scrolling through some articles online and see an article titled “Approximately 795 million People are Undernourished” (Food Aid Foundation 2018). Immediately you become intrigued.
As you read on, you feel grief-stricken at how many people are affected by hunger. Instead of shaking it off, take a minute to recognize that hunger is an issue that speaks to you. Listen to the little voice in your head prompting further investigation. The first step in making purposeful change in this world is recognizing what needs fixing.
No matter what you are passionate about, there are so many ways to micro-volunteer these days. (Remember that as little as 30 minutes a week spent on purpose has a positive impact on our well-being.) From DoSomething.org to VolunteerMatch to Create the Good – there are a lot of ways to make a difference, sometimes from the comfort of your own couch.
The Litmus Test
We have talked about three of the roads you can follow to find your purpose. As you center on possible purposes, I invite you to run them through the following litmus test. 
Your purpose lies at the intersection of what you are good at, what you love to do and what the world needs.
Do you love doing it? Keep an eye on that happiness light on your personal dashboard. If it is lit a lot, you are good.
Are you good at it? Now, don’t think that you need to be a YouTube-level master at what you are doing, but it does need to be something that you are good at. (We will talk more about leveraging our strengths in a future blog.)
Does it serve a world need? One of the top myths is that purpose needs to be self-sacrificing. Don't get caught in the trap of thinking for it to deserve being called your purpose, you need to be feeding the homeless, working in an orphanage, or volunteering with the elderly. If you love and are good at those things, awesome. But if you are more about working on a fabulous new cocktail or a fun new mobile app, that’s just as awesome. (If you create a cool new cocktail, we want to hear about it!)
Let go of your “shoulds” and ask yourself. Do I love doing this? Am I good at it? Does it contribute to the world?
Did you get three yeses? Your litmus test is telling you are good to go. (Congrats!)
But what if you don’t know the answers to those questions?
You are in luck! We have a class that can help you. You can learn more about In Pursuit of Purpose here. The class is based on positive psychology principles created by the best thought leaders from Harvard, Penn, Stanford, Yale and beyond.
Why did we put the class online? First, we passionately believe that with every person who finds their meaning and lives a purposeful life, the world becomes a better place.
Second, for every class purchased, we will provide a class for free to an at-risk youth. We will talk more next week about how things are going with our in-person classes. We are currently teaching at a homeless shelter and a group foster home for girls.
Know someone who could benefit from discovering their purpose? Thanks for sharing this with them. 2019 is all about expanding our visibility!